85 spices to make your marriage HOT!


1. Start and end each day by praying together with your wife.

2. Pray for her every day and make it a point to pray with her when she is troubled.

3. Communicate with her instead of talking at her or shutting her out emotionally.

4. Talk to her respectfully without demeaning her or hurting her feelings.

5. Compliment her for the blessing you see in her. Be specific.

6. Show interest in her family and give her time to be with them.

7. Do something active together to lift her spirit.

8. Express to her that you need and value her.

9. Show enthusiasm for the things that she’s excited about—let your actions show it.

10. Find something that makes you laugh together.

11.Put your arms around her when she needs comfort, holding her silently.

12.Surprise her by doing something you think she would want done before she asks.

13.Try not to make sudden changes without discussing them with her first.

14. Show interest in that which she values as important in her life.

15. Allow your wife to teach you things without being defensive.

16. When you feel you must correct her, be gentle —speaking the truth in LOVE.

17. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s.

18. Show her that she matters more to you than any activity you could do, or any one you could be with.

19. Be a good listener. Show her you value what she says.

20. Plan a mini-honeymoon, where the two of you can spend quality time together.

21. Go shopping with her and don’t sigh or look at what time it is even once.

22. Make her breakfast (cleaning up afterward).

23. Make the time to set specific goals with her to achieve together for each year.

24. Forgive her if she offends you.

25. Find ways to help her know you are her partner in all areas life.

26. Be polite, courteous, and mannerly with her—not taking her for granted.

27. Exhibit humility, admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness. She’ll appreciate that!

28. Defend her to others—especially to your family.

29. Don’t belittle her intelligence.

30. Scratch her back, rub her feet, or her rub her neck—whatever she’d prefer.

31. Get up in the middle of the night (letting her stay in bed) to take care of your upset child.

32. Be especially helpful when she is not feeling well.

33. When you’ve been apart for a time and she asks how your day went, don’t just say “fine” — actually give her details.

34. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.

35. Don’t embarrass her by arguing with her in front of others.

36. Help in her spiritual life and quest to please Allah.

37. Make eye contact when she is talking to you and when you are talking with her.

38. Show her that you prefer her to others—give her your attention whenever possible.

39 Relate what happened at work or whatever you did apart from her.

40. Stay away from web sites, chat rooms or anything that gives you sexual gratification from anyone other than your wife.

41. Be helpful and cooperative, both before, and during the time you have other people over to your home. (If you’re not sure what to do, just say to your wife “What can I do that would help the most?”)

42. Brag about her to her family, both in front of her and when she is not with you.

43. Surprise her from time-to-time with a card and flowers or a little gift.

44. Remember to tell her or call her as soon as you know you are going to be late.

45. Give her your undivided attention when she wants to talk.

46. Guard your tongue from saying “unwholesome words” or down-grading her.

47. Refuse to compare her unfavourably with others.

48. Encourage her to relax in some way while you clean up after dinner.

49. Be an involved partner and father in helping her with the children and spending time together.

50. Maintain good grooming habits so you look and smell good. It shows you care.

51. Be supportive. Help her to finish her education and goals that are important to her.

52. View and treat her as if there is a sign over her that reads, “Make me feel special.”

53. Run errands without complaining.

54. Be thoughtful and considerate to her relatives.

55. Don’t negatively compare her relatives with yours.

56. Sit close to her —even when you are just reading for example.

57. Be verbally supportive and honour her in front of the children.

58. Show her you are her marital partner by not making plans without her knowing and agreeing with them (unless it’s a surprise for her).

59. Pro-actively do things that makes her feel cherished as a woman and as a wife.

60. Keep her trust at all costs.

61. Surprise her with a kiss.

62. Take the time to touch every day—even if it’s only for a minute or two.

63.  Be sensitive enough to ask her if you offend or hurt her sexually in any way.

64.  Go out of your way to help her feel valued over everyone else.

65.  Consider her as your marital partner in how you spend money.

66.  Be careful to choose your words, especially when angry.

67.  Make sure your children speak to her and treat her in respectful ways.

68.  Make sure she has money to spend any way she would choose.

69.  Share the responsibilities around the house (without looking for special recognition).

70. Don’t tease and belittle her, saying “I was just joking” when she doesn’t find it funny.

71. Allow her to express herself freely, without fear of being called illogical or dumb.

72. Don’t criticise her at all.

73. Don’t focus or even look at the physical features of another woman.

74. Be sensitive to her needs—looking for ways to please her.

75. Let her know you want to spend special time with her and the children.

76. Fix dinner for her sometimes.

77. Be sympathetic when she’s sick—and help her however you can.

78. Let her sleep in once in a while and you get the children ready for the day.

79. Honour her by not disagreeing with her in front of the children.

80. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her and let them build into bigger issues.

81. Tell her (and show her) you love her often.

82. Call, email or text her during the day when you are apart from each other so she knows you are thinking of her.

83. Surprise her by suggesting you go on a weekend retreat together to draw even closer in your marital relationship.

84. Express your love and appreciation for her in a love note that you give to her.

85. Show her affection.

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8 comments on “85 spices to make your marriage HOT!

  1. As salam o alaikum warehmatUllahi wabarakatuh

    JAZAKA ALLAH KHAIYRAN Mufti saheb these advices are certainly important and vital for Husbands to act upon. But I would appreciate if you could write similar beautiful advices for sisters and wives, so that they also understand and practice upon them in order to create a balance and make marriages strong INSHA ALLAH.

    Thank you in anticipation.

    Kindest regards,


  2. JAZAKA ALLAH KHAIYRAN. Hazrat Mufti Saheb this is really an amazing article. Well written and INSHA ALLAH will penitrate the hearts of the sisters. Yes, I do make fervent duas to ALLAH Subhana Wa Ta’ala for all Ulemas and ALLAH Walas to bless them health, wealth, elevation of status and bless them the station of Auliya e Siddiqueen ALLAH HUMMA AAMEEN. May ALLAH Subhana Wa Ta’ala accept your and everyones efforts for this beautiful Deen and I pray that May ALLAH Subhana Wa Ta’ala also give us ability to serve Deen ALLAH HUMMA AAMEEN.



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