One of the most searched questions on google is: how do I be the most successful husband? Is it really that hard? What is the secret? The following 10 steps are cornerstones for every husband which are followed by the answer on how to be the best!
1.Look good and smell sweet
Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time we actually made an effort to look attractive and clean for our wives? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was always neat and tidy. He was the most attractive and clean. A person would be soothed in his presence. You would catch a breath of fresh air from him. His sight was soothing for the eyes and cooling for the heart. He would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest of smells.
2.Use endeared names
Use the cutest names for your wife. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam – had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. He would call Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha ‘Humairaa’, which means the little red one. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3.She is not a fly!
Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognise all the good that she does and focus on that. Take out time daily in your busy schedule for your wife. Show her she is your life and not just part of your life.
4.Tolerate, tolerate and tolerate!
If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives radiallahu anhun. It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered. Never say negative things about your wife. Understand she is a human also and can mistakes. How many times do husbands make mistakes?
5.Big big big smile!
Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting. Positive dispositions induce positivity in the atmosphere. Let your wife feel your love for her by your glimmering smile upon seeing her.
6.Thank you and jazakillah khairan!
Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her! Let her know her daily chores are valued and appreciated. Give her a break at times by ‘cooking’ the meal.
7.Play love-inducing games with her!
Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8.Value and respect her
Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah radiallahu anha – was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel. At the time of Hudaibiyyah, the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam sought counsel from his wives. Discuss your problems with your wife.
Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would race his wife Aisha radiallahu anha in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that? Piety is not that we sit in the masjid all day. Piety is that what the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam did. He would show his wives his love like no other man has.
10.Be the best
Always remember the words of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Always think how would the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam treat his wife if he was in the situation I was. When the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam is our standard, our standards and values will be of the highest quality.
The secret to be the most successful husband is one: be like the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam.