Is it my fault?

Question:

i live in usa for 9 yrs.13 yrs ago i used to work in a Pakistani hospital.  I was fresh doctor with only i yr experience.  I had a senior doctor with me.  One day a pregnant lady came to the hospital with very high blood pressure.  My senior admitted her ,gave me some guidelines and went home.  She was not coming back because her home was at I hour drive.  I was scared because I was not experienced enough.  With the help of a senior surgeon i operated the lady and she had a baby.  The operation was successful.  After operation, the nurses in the ward told me that the doctor in emergency will take care of her in case of emergency.  I went home. when i came back after 2 days.  The patient had expired.  I did not think much back then, but after 13 yrs, that patient still haunts me.  I do not know if it was my fault because of my experience.  I think if I was more experienced, I could have treated her better.  I also blame my senior doctor that if she knew she was going home, she should not have admitted the patient.  any complication might have occurred, i was not experienced enough to handle .  I still do not know if it was my fault or not.  I do not know the name and address of the family.plz tell me what to do.  I have 20000$ ,i am willing to give it in charity as blood money and fast for 2 months.plz help me as I cannot function properly as this is always on my mind.

 

Answer:

 

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

 

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

One of the most beautiful aspects of our faith is taqdīr (pre-destination).  As a Muslim, we believe whatever happens in the universe does so only due to the order and command of Allah.  Contemplate on the following verses:

 

“And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record.” (Qur’ān 6:59)

“No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being – indeed that, for Allah it is easy.” (Qur’ān 57:22)

Say: ‘Nothing can happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is Our Master. It is in Allah that the muminun should put their trust.’ (Qur’ān 9:51)

 

No self can die except with Allah’s permission, at a predetermined time. If anyone desires the reward of the dunya, We will give him some of it. If anyone desires the reward of the akhira, We will give him some of it. We will recompense the thankful. (Qur’ān 3:145)

 

Our Aqīdah (creed) is that Allah gives death to whom He wants, when He wants and how He wants.  All the doctors of the Earth can get together to help save a patient, they cannot do so if Allah has decreed death for that patient.

 

You did the best of your ability and you successfully delivered the child.  You sincerely tried everything you could do.  You finished your shift and had nothing to do with what took place after.  How can you save a person whom Allah willed otherwise?

 

There can be dozens of causes for the expiry of the patient, but these causes are just apparent.  The real factor was the will of Allah Ta’ālā.

 

Do not blame yourself and live a miserable life for something you had no role in.  The hospital is a place where people are constantly being born and die.  You cannot expect to work in a hospital and not come into contact with people who are passing away.  Are you going to blame yourself for everyone you treated and later on passed away? Surely this is great injustice upon yourself.  Why do you not consider the fact that you were the means of a baby coming into this world?  Inshā Allah, this child will grow and be a means of benefitting humanity.

 

Thus, remove these thoughts.  Live a positive life and carry on doing the good work you can do as a nurse.  You do not have to give any blood money nor do you have to fast for two months.  You have not oppressed or caused harm to anybody!  Put the whole issue behind you and live a life remembering everything is in the control of Allah; to Him we belong and to Him we return.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mawlana Faraz ibn Adam,
Student Darul Iftaa

Leicester, United Kingdom

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net

 


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