1. Dress up for your partner and look clean and smell good. Make an effort in your appearance so that you are always desirable and attractive for each other. Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the best names for your partner. Call them by their most beloved names (such as baby and honey!) and avoid using names that hurt their feelings i.e. fatty, onion breath etc!
3. If you see anything wrong with what your husband/wife does, as long as it doesn’t contradict the Shariah, try being silent and don’t complain! This is one of the things the Prophet used to do when he saw something inappropriate from his wives. It’s a skill that Muslims need to master! Instead try to appreciate and focus on all the good your partner does.
4. Smile at your partner whenever you see them and embrace them often. Smiling is an act of Sadaqah (charity). Also, tell your partner that you love them regularly, don’t assume they already know! At least once a day say something kind or complimentary to your partner.
5. This might sound a bit cheesy but give it a try! Ask your husband/wife to write down the last ten things you did for them that made them happy. Then go and do the same for them again. It may be hard to recognise what gives your husband/wife pleasure but you don’t have to play a guessing game, ask him/her and work on repeating those things for them all the time.
6. Don’t belittle his/her desires. Comfort them. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet set the example for us when on numerous occasions he comforted his wives.
7. Be humorous and play games or sports with your partner. The Prophet would race with his wife ‘Aisha (ra). You should be having the time of your life. Do things together. Have fun for crying out loud! Go out for a meal. A weekend away. As long as it’s Halal then go for it!
8. Be romantic! Think about all the small things your partner does for you and then show some appreciation in return. Some guys are extremely generous when it comes to their friends or family but for some reason can’t even bring themselves to buy their wife a box of chocolates! Spoil your partner with affection and treat each other to a surprise every now and again to keep that fire burning!
9. Trust and honesty is the key to a successful marriage. If something is harming or damaging your marriage then be open and honest with your partner. It won’t just go away. Keeping secrets from one another or hiding stuff from your partner is one of the main reasons why a marriage can go wrong big time!
10. If you have done something wrong then admit it! Apologise sincerely to your partner and then try to make it up to them by doing something you know will make them happy. Never both be angry at the same time and don’t go to bed upset with one another.
Marriage is an enormous responsibility but also a great joy. Allah the Exalted has described the husband and wife as ‘garments’ to one another. The point of a garment is to give warmth, protection, decency, intimacy and comfort. Allah has created all life forms in pairs and when something is created as part of a pair it is clearly incomplete without the other. But in order for a husband and wife to find perfect peace and harmony with each other, they need to be prepared to fulfill each other’s rights.
Now all that sounds quite straight forward doesn’t it? If you try to act upon all of the above then Inshallah your marriage will be great, long and Islamic.