Question:
Is it permissible to give a gift to a girl after the proposal has been accepted? [Question Published as Received]
The Fatwa
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
The Answer
It is permissible to send gifts to one’s fiancé keeping in mind the following guidance:
- There is no fear of Fitna, indecency or immoral behaviour as a result.
- It does not involve casual mixing and relationship building before the Nikah.
- Blessings and Barakah come solely by pleasing Allah Ta’ala and following His guidance. If you truly want your Nikah journey to be blessed, beneficial in the long-term and value adding for yourself in the marriage, the only way that can manifest is by pleasing Allah Ta’ala and being close to Him.
The Fiqh of The Answer
Imam Ghanim ibn Muhammad (d.1030 AH) his Majm’a al-Dhamānāt, and others, have discussed the nature of gifts that a suitor sends to his prospective bride’s home. The Fuqahā have distinguished the type of gifts a suitor sends to his potential bride’s home. They mention that should the gift be of perishable nature, like food items, it is considered an absolute gift that cannot be reclaimed if the marriage does not take place. On the other hand, non-perishable gifts such as money, horses, or clothing are considered conditional gifts that depend on the marriage contract’s occurrence in the future.
From the above citation, we can gather two important points. Firstly, it is acceptable to present gifts to a potential spouse. Secondly, the status of the gift – whether it is absolute or conditional – is determined by customary practices unless otherwise specified beforehand.
Ibn Abidin (d.1252 AH) discusses the practice of some of the boroughs of Damascus whereby once a proposal had been accepted, people would send gifts to their future spouse.
Mufti Radhā al Haq, in his Fatawā compilation, writes that one may send gifts as a symbol of love and affection according to one’s status and practice. The prophetic saying ‘Exchange gifts, as it will increase your love for one another’ gives hope that the marriage contract will be fulfilled, and the desires of both families shall be fulfilled.”
However, the gifting should all take place in an appropriate and respectable manner, ensuring that the principles of Hijab are adhered to. The blessings of Allah Ta’ala come in a Nikah by following His guidance and doing things in a manner which pleases Him. Therefore, the fiancé should not give their future partner a gift(s) directly, but rather through a trusted intermediary such as an elder of the family or via female family members.
And Almighty Allah Alone Knows Best
Maulana Ammar Y Badat
Trainee Mufti
Reviewed and approved by
Mufti Faraz Adam
Darul Iftaa Muadh ibn Jabal
www.darulfiqh.com
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وَكُلُّ مَا يُرْسِلُهُ الْخَاطِبُ إلَى بَيْتِ الْمَخْطُوبَةِ مِمَّا يَتَسَارَعُ فِيهِ الْفَسَادُ فَهُوَ هَدِيَّةٌ مُطْلَقَةٌ لَيْسَ لَهُ الرُّجُوعُ فِي شَيْءٍ مِنْهَا، وَمَا يُرْسِلُهُ سِوَى ذَلِكَ كَالدَّرَاهِمِ وَالْخَيْلِ وَالثِّيَابِ فَهُوَ هَدِيَّةٌ مُقَيَّدَةٌ بِشَرْطِ جَرَيَانِ الْعَقْدِ فِي الْمُسْتَقْبَلِ هَذَا هُوَ الْمَعْرُوفُ مِنْ عُرْفِ التُّرْكُمَانِ (مجمع الضمانات)
وَعَلَى هَذَا فَمَا يَقَعُ فِي قُرَى دِمَشْقَ مِنْ أَنَّ الرَّجُلَ يَخْطُبُ الْمَرْأَةَ وَيَصِيرُ يَكْسُوهَا وَيُهْدِي إلَيْهَا فِي الْأَعْيَادِ وَيُعْطِيهَا دَرَاهِمَ لِلنَّفَقَةِ وَالْمَهْرَ إلَى أَنْ يُكَمِّلَ لَهَا الْمَهْرَ فَيَعْقِدَ عَلَيْهَا لَيْلَةَ الزِّفَافِ، فَإِذَا أَبَتْ أَنْ تَتَزَوَّجَهُ يَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَرْجِعَ عَلَيْهَا بِغَيْرِ الْهَدِيَّةِ الْهَالِكَةِ عَلَى الْأَقْوَالِ الْأَرْبَعَةِ الْمَارَّةِ لِأَنَّ ذَلِكَ مَشْرُوطٌ بِالتَّزَوُّجِ كَمَا حَقَّقَهُ قَاضِي خَانْ فِيمَا مَرَّ. (حاشية ابن عابدين)
قال الإسبيجابي ولو قال: هل أعطيتنيها فقال: أعطيتك إن كان المجلس للوعد فوعد. (النهر الفائق)
سوال: شریعت مطہرہ میں منگنی کی کیا حقیقت ہے؟ اور اس میں پائی جانے والی رسموں کا کیا حکم ہے؟
الجواب : نکاح سے قبل شادی کی نیت سے لڑکا لڑکی کودیکھ لے، اس کے بعد دونوں خاندان آپس میں رشتہ نکاح طے کرلیں، اور وعدہ نکاح وغیرہ ہو جائے، نیز اپنی اپنی حیثیت کے مطابق کچھ تحفے تحائف وغیرہ دینا چاہیں تو از راہ الفت و محبت دے سکتے ہیں، فرمانِ نبوی ” تهادوا تحابوا “ کی وجہ سے قوی امید ہے کہ عقد نکاح انجام پائے اور دونوں خاندانوں کی تمنائیں پوری ہوں. (فتاوى دار العلوم زكريا)