Sending Gifts Prior to Nikah

Imam Ghanim ibn Muhammad (d.1030 AH) his Majm’a al-Dhamānāt, and others, have discussed the nature of gifts that a suitor sends to his prospective bride’s home. The Fuqahā have distinguished the type of gifts a suitor sends to his potential bride’s home. They mention that should the gift be of perishable nature, like food items, it is considered an absolute gift that cannot be reclaimed if the marriage does not take place. On the other hand, non-perishable gifts such as money, horses, or clothing are considered conditional gifts that depend on the marriage contract’s occurrence in the future.

From the above citation, we can gather two important points. Firstly, it is acceptable to present gifts to a potential spouse. Secondly, the status of the gift – whether it is absolute or conditional – is determined by customary practices unless otherwise specified beforehand.

Ibn Abidin (d.1252 AH) discusses the practice of some of the boroughs of Damascus whereby once a proposal had been accepted, people would send gifts to their future spouse.

Mufti Radhā al Haq, in his Fatawā compilation, writes that one may send gifts as a symbol of love and affection according to one’s status and practice. The prophetic saying ‘Exchange gifts, as it will increase your love for one another’ gives hope that the marriage contract will be fulfilled, and the desires of both families shall be fulfilled.”

However, the gifting should all take place in an appropriate and respectable manner, ensuring that the principles of Hijab are adhered to. The blessings of Allah Ta’ala come in a Nikah by following His guidance and doing things in a manner which pleases Him. Therefore, the fiancé should not give their future partner a gift(s) directly, but rather through a trusted intermediary such as an elder of the family or via female family members.